“A Journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step.”
My journey started just like anyone elses;
Career Husband House
I was the type of girl who had my life planned out since high school. And I had these benchmarks in my head of when I wanted to accomplish my life goals. I had a picture in my head of how I wanted my life to unfold and I naively thought that it was going to go as planned.
After almost a year of trying to conceive and in the midst of being in naturopathic medical school, I got pregnant. John, my husband and I were so excited! We told our parents and our siblings. Everything went well until the early ultrasound at 7 weeks. I remember that moment vividly in my head. I couldn’t see the screen, but I could see the tech’s face. She was smiling and friendly as she started the scan, then silence. I could see her face grow sombre and she said that she would need to confer with the doctor. She had me book in another week’s time and that’s when I found out that there was no heartbeat and all they could see on the scan was a gestational sac. I miscarried a few days later.
In an instant—everything changed. I was totally devastated and depressed. I’m the type of person who just bottles things up and it’s really difficult for me to talk about personal things even with friends or family. I sat with my grief for a long time. School was a welcome distraction and I just threw myself into the work. I saw the school counsellor and had weekly appointments with my naturopathic doctor.
After my miscarriage, I saw a gynaecologist and a naturopath. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS. And I’m thinking how can this JUST be diagnosed NOW? After a laparoscopy (aka surgery to get endometriosis out), my gynaecologist sent me on my merry way and said I’ll fall pregnant in a few months. BUT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. Not for YEARS! Infertility threw me in for a loop.
Each month I would sink further and further into a funk. I was a mixed bag of frustration, sadness, fear, and hopelessness–as yet again, the pregnancy test was negative. This was out of my control, and certainly not within my plans. My husband watched as I would sink deeper and deeper into anxiety, testing constantly for ovulation or pregnancy, becoming hyper-aware of my symptoms, and watching my friends with equal parts happiness, jealousy and despair as they would post pregnancy announcements.
We found ourselves sitting in a fertility clinic, preparing for the next step. Up until this point we hadn’t told anyone about our silent struggle, all the while, feeling the pressure to have kids before my biological clock stops ticking. I felt hopeless, desperate and alone. I was afraid I would never become a mother.
But that is when I realized that I had two options.
I could continue on this path of living with anxiety, generally feeling frantic, desperate and hopeless.
I could commit to change and start living mindfully, regardless of whether or not having a baby was going to happen. I was done putting my life on pause.
This was my life changing moment. It was a shift in mindset.
In the months that followed I really dived deep into how I was going about my journey and what I was doing to support myself. I asked for help. I asked for support from others. I built a fertility team around me to get me through this because I know that I could not Google my way through this or DIY this. I saw a naturopath, pelvic floor physiotherapist, chiropractor and RMT. 3 years after seeing both a naturopath and landing at the fertility clinic and trying 3 IUI’s and IVF, I finally got pregnant and had my beautiful baby boy!
It was at that moment when it dawned on me. This wasn’t an option. It was a calling. I had an unshakable feeling down to the very last cell in my body that I had to share my passion for fertility with the world. I knew I had to help and support other women kick infertility in the a$s. And that’s why I now do what I do. As a naturopathic doctor and fertility coach, I take mums-to-be from completely overwhelmed, frustrated, and isolated to calm, confident, and in control of their fertility. This is about you. And how I can support you.
BSc. degree in Psychology, University of the Philippines
Medical doctor (MD) degree, University of the East Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Medical Center, Philippines
Doctor of Naturopathy (ND) degree, Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine
Integrative Fertility Coach, Integrative Fertility Institute
LET’S WORK TOGETHER
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